Heart of Darkness.

It was hot as hell, and humid, but it was dark out. The thick canopy above and all around created an eerie sort of mid-day twilight. I was lost, I knew that now, and my utter ill-preparedness left me without map or compass. The only thing to do was to wander around aimlessly until I happened to stumble upon some sort of landmark that I recognized, or until I gave up from exhaustion. The heat was starting to get to me, the sweat dripped down into my eyes and blurred my vision. I was beginning to think that maybe I wouldn't make it. That's when I saw it, a vision of beauty itself standing before me. It was my front door, I was safe.

I was lucky this time, and I knew that if I didn't do something soon, I may not be so lucky next time. There could be no more denial, no more self delusions. I had to admit it to myself now before it was to late, before something went terribly awry. I had to admit to myself that I had a weed problem.

Now this wasn't your normal run of the mill weed problem. Oh no, this was something far darker. This was your typical mutant, genetic anomaly, freak of nature, glow in the dark weed problem and after the days events I knew that it was either them or me. So, I went down to my local hardware store and bought 2 bottles of round-up. For those of you who have used round up before, you know that it is serious stuff. Round-up is not just for pansies. It's for pansies, milk weed, clover, thistle and just about every other form of life unfortunate enough to find itself classified under the flora kingdom. So I figured that all I had to do was spray and wait as the jungle in front of my house withered and died. I was wrong. I emptied both bottles of round-up and still (after 3 days) the weeds persist and they look as healthy as ever. I WILL NOT be defeated however. These monstrosities will be stopped. Obviously I was a fool to think that round-up would do the job, next time I will go for the kerosene. I'll dowse the entire jungle with it and roast marshmallows until there is nothing left. I will win!!