What kind of chip you got in there? A Dorrito?

Maybe its the result of too many summer days floating the Boise River or too many winters days sliding the slopes of Bogus Basin ski resort that have drawn me away from my nerdy roots. My techno-gadgetry collection has fallen into a sorry state of outdatedness and disrepair. My computer (or should I say door stop) is a shameful 6 years old and makes a strange sort of whinny sound when I turn it on, though it doesn't do much else. My laptop, although in a better state than my desktop, has a broken CD-Rom, a stolen network card, and a habit of mysteriously shutting down at inopportune moments. My PDA which, at its height of geekyness, donned the pocket version of Linux, no longer seems to do much of anything, I've tried whacking it many times, to no avail (I just realized how utterly WRONG that sounds, oh well, it stays).

Today, with fond memories of high-tech LAN parties in mind, I decided that I must take action. I went ahead and purchased a new HP pavilion zx5000 wide screen edition laptop, including all of the bells and whistles, with wireless photoprinter and docking station. Now I will be able to get my game on in style, no matter where I happen to be, AND it was absolutely free! ...... Well, absolutely free for 12 months. In fact they actually paid me to take it off their hands, yay for mail-in rebates! So, thanks to consumerism I am now comfortably further in debt (those suckers just keep giving me money). I better go watch "Fight Club" again before I go and buy something I REALLY don't need. Curse you eBay!! You make stylish retro-modern living way too easy.